My Big Fat Fairytale

If only my life,
Was a big fat fairytale...

I'll have maids
And servants at my very call
A handsome Prince Charming
To save me from a terrible, deadly fall

I'll have flawless beauty
That never goes away
Maybe hair so long and fair
I'll need a dozen bottles of shampoo a day

I'll have a fairy godmother
To dress me up real nice n neat
A nice pumpkin carriage
To take me shoppin' till I'm beat

I'll have a big big castle
Atop a high high hill
A swimming pool in the courtyard
And pink roses all over the field

I'll have seven cute lil' friends
Doc, Grumpy, Sleepy, even Dopey too
No stepmothers for me, thank you
Nor witches with poisoned apples too

I'll have no curses please
Leave out the spells ado
But a bit of nice magic would help I'm sure
Would leave much much less to do

I'll have all the best
Of the fairytales I used to hear
But most of all I'll never leave out
The "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" thats so so dear

..."and they lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER"...

My heart is bleeding

But no tears reach my eyes

Someone stabbed me inside

But my smile still never dies

My emotions wreak havoc

But my expression remains calm

I can almost feel the sob in my throat

But all I hear is laughter and jokes

I feel like jelly inside

But my exterior's strong and bold

I'm getting a good grip on myself

A very strong, hard hold

My tears have long dried up

I've choked them all inside

My sobs are gonna strangle me

Any more it'll definately be suicide

I feel about to explode

But I'm not letting go

I must stay strong, collect my fears

I am not crying, no no no

The Darkest Hour

The darkness suffocates
The silence screams
The agony of waiting
I wish this was a dream

But no, reality it is
And all alone i find myself
The darkness is darker than night
Without a light to make the darkness bright

The stars run away
The moon hides his face
How desperate can this situation get?
Must I hide myself in disgrace?

There's not a hope to be seen
That I could cling on to
My prayers are lifted up high
Why unanswered? I don't have a clue

But one thing I keep in mind
Of which my faith is born
For through all trails one thing is sure
The darkest hour is just before dawn...

...I will hold to that truth
I will fight till the dawning morn
I will never give in to the darkness
God, guide me till the morning dawns

If life was a menu, friends would be dessert...

Cuz they're sweet
And sticky like glue
Through thick and thin
They'll never desert you

Comforting to the senses
Just like chocolate ice cream
They lift you up when things are down
Like apple pie with lots of whipped cream

A shoulder to cry on
A sleeve to wipe your tears
A listening ear to hear your woes
From broken hearts to aching toes

Imagine the indulgence
The heavenly taste of frosted cheese cake
That's exactly the way friends are
They flavor life like cookies freshly baked

Like a main course is never complete
Without ending with desserts so sweet
So life can never be full enough
Without friends to stick through the good and the tough

Oh boy,
How stupid can I possibly get
There I went again
I made the same mistake

I gave my heart away
My head told me no
But as silly as I am
I went and did just so

So yeah, dumb dumb me
Letting my guard down
Was foolish enough to let someone in
Ending up feeling like a clown

Hey me!
Look smart
Pick yourself
Fix that mask of art

Be the Ice Queen
Don't let down your guard
Put up that fence again
Smile so the world won't see your heart

Never let anyone in
Least you get stabbed again
Be cold and heartless to the world
Better safe than sorry...
Though your hated by the world

Pretty please

Somebody stole my heart
But I want it back
Its not for you to take
And thats definately a fact

No, no its not fair
I don't like it this way
Its mine, not yours to take
Its precious, not just a piece of cake

I really love my heart
Very much thank you
So I dont like it over there
When its done and over with you

Can you give it back?
Pretty please, thank you
There's no reason I cant have it here
When it supposed to be and should

Its the CNY spirit!!!

IM BACKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! had a great great time in Taiping...n getting really really FAT adi with all de extra food. hehe...n i really mean EXTRA. was eating like...from de moment i open my eyes till i went to sleep!! n im totally not exaggurating. its one of those times when u stuff ur face with anything u can get ur hands on...even tho ur sososo stuffed adi u can hardly walk. hahaha...its nice =) but i better get on sum sort of diet or exercise program or smth~ i nooeee...i hate diets!!! but i HAVE to....my waistline is freakin me out adi...n CNY isnt even over!! oh boyyyyy....lol


weellllll...y dont i summarize de few days i was MIA...ok??


:DAY 1:

got up so freakin early jz to get on de road to Taiping by 5am. i nooeeeee....crazyyy!! but at least we avoided de jam madness.
got there...had a late breakfast of Taiping's famous "Kai See Hor Fun" (translated: kuey teow soup with shreded chicken)...which was absolutely delicious as usual...den went around de lil tiny town with my couz doing errands. or rather looking for things to eat =P
went back my gradmas hse for dinner...den ate...ate...n...errmmm...ate summore...hehe. had lotsa fun eating n chatting n doing pretty much nth...lol. FUN!!!

:DAY 2:

got up early again...hv NO idea why. but i hv a thing bout waking early in Taiping. i just CANT sleep any later den 7...dun ask, dun comment...lol. went morning market with my mommy...found GREAT bargains you can never find in KL... - has anyone ever bought a nice, perfectly perfect belt for RM1??? and i mean it......RM1!!!!- so anywayz...stuff were like dirt cheap there..hehe.
de rest of de day was spent pretty much de same way as de last nite...eat n eat n eat...n talk n talk n talk. n help my grandma cook of cuz. hehe..at nite we had a bbq with de whole big family...was super fun. drank quite alot...i mean drink as in...errmm...*ahem*...DRINK =P made up all sorts of cocktails...btw, did u noe ribena+7 up+ wine+brandey+orange juice+pepsi+whiskey+beer+apple bits is really niceee??? haha..so yeah. but didnt get drunk or tipsy suprisingly *cheeky smile*

:DAY 3:

ITS THE NEW YEAR!!! n angpau time!!! haha...was fun doing visiting and being visited...not to mention de angpaus I collected....hehe.
as usual....ATE de whole day...every hse we visited munched a lil...so...welllll...yeah..hehe.
at nite after dinner sat around de table n played cards...n munched more =)
[now you noe why i said im getting fat riteee???]

:DAY 4:

had a HUGE breakfast....chinese tradition rite???? lol...bt was huger den normal i think.
collected more angpaus...went shopping...ate icecream in this heavenly icecream place. wait a min...i mean de ICECREAM was heavenly...not de place. hehe...
ate in my aunts hse at nite instead of my grandparents...so ws nice for a change. n got to use de com!!!! dats de best part. cuz my grandparents dont own a com..or internet..or anything...which was de worst part of cny...lol

:DAY 5:

went HIKING!!!!! it was...errrmmm...weellll....*no words to describe* hehe...let me put it dis way>>>>

• GOOD experience
• GREAT view
• NICE fun
• HORRIBLE LEACHES!!!!!!!!!!

yupyup....HORRIBLE's de word for it. n i got TWOOOOO stuck on meeeee!!!! eeewewwwwwwww....haha. n i never knew de extent of my voice box till dat day...i think de whole jungle heard my screams =P
i wasnt de only one tho...n after dat it was really funny to recall. so i guess its a good experience in all.
de rest of de day was pretty quiet n nice...no more leaches...or "patcat" as i call it (dunno wat language it dat...hehe). had a hair makeover session with my couzs at nite...with dis seriously sososo cheap hair curler i bought. i was suprised it actually worked!! haha..i mean...a RM15 hair curler actually WORKS??? suprise suprise...lol. so nywayz... we had crazy curly hairdos at de end of de nite...which wasnt dat bad...n actually turned out kinda nice 4 a change. better den poker straight hair...haha. n dat was my last nite in Taiping...


The next day....which is today...i started back at 6am...again...lol. den...welll...here i am!!! was a great, really awesome time in Taiping. had lotsa fun...n in fact, i never remembered hving such a great new year b4!!! hahha..cool rite???

i gtg noww....hv to eat dinner. oh crappppp...eat again....my diet....aiyah!! wth...ill put myself on sum sort of eating plan when CNY's over. errr...if i remember =P

Till I find the words to write my thoughts,
Till inspiration finds the poems I wanna rhyme,
I have to go now and say goodbye,
To put on more FAT than I desire...buhbyeee!!!

Gong xi fa cai!!!

yupyup!! its that time of de year again. de weather is sweltering ~a sure sign of chinese new year~ and all de malls are playing super annoying "tong tong chang" music. which almost doesnt sound like music at all cuz its so sickening. haha...but wtd...it all comes in a package...together with de best stuff ~lots of ang pau and great food!!!~ hehehe...rite rite???? anywayz...jz to let u guys noe dat ill be MIA for awhile. will b leaving for Taiping early tomoro mornin. for those who suck in geography...Taiping is a lil sleepy town up north in Perak on de way to Penang. dunno where is Penang??? ur hopeless!! hahaha. dun ask me when ill b back...cuz i hvnt de slightest idea. n i keep getting ambiguous answers everytime i ask...for God noes wat reason. lol...sooo...when im back im back!! =) miss me k?? *cheeky smile*

better get goin now...hv to pack my clothes for de trip. i think dats de HARDEST part of chinese new year....haihzzz...wish i could simply take my whole wardrobe with me. hehe...n probably de 2nd hardest part is fitting everythin i wanna bring in a bag. lolzz...so buhbyeee!!! *muakz muakz*


oh yeaaaaaa....

GONG XI FA CAI!!!!! *ahem ahem*....ang pau na lai????? =P

Of silver linings...

To every cloud
No matter how dark and grey
There is a silver lining
Shining bright and gay

The only problem is
How to find that perfect lining
In the total midst
Of all the grey

But its always there
That promising line
So search and search
Till that sliver of light you find

...............................................................................................


I really saw a silver lining!!! im seriouss...it was totally beautiful!!! n i alwayz tot it was jz a saying or somethin. but it was real...the sun was shining behind a cloud n it made this awesome lining all around. it was gorgeously breathtaking. nvr seen anything like that before. Gods creation is just sososo wordlessly wonderful...hehe =)

"...in every cloud, there is alwayz a silver lining..."

Why, why, why...

What in the world
Is the matter with me?
Its been so damn long
Is there still tears? It simply can't be

I thought I cried my last
Swore never to cry again
Where in the world do these tears come from?
My heart can't take the pain again

I don't get it
It so doesnt make sense
I've got the world in the palm of my hand
Why, why, why, do i have to remember again?

God, this is killing me
Just take away my memory
I can't stand the brokeness
God, im pleading, take this dreadfulness

I just cant help myself
My tears dont seem to dry
I hate myself for being so weak
Why, why, why, do i have to cry?

A year has passed
But time left me behind
Im still stuck at where I was
Cuz you see, my heart's just as broken as it was

What in the freakin' world
Is the matter with me?
Why am I still crying?
I thought I was long over him...

Why, why, why??
...I still miss him...

Life, why are you pulling tricks on me?
You think this is funny?
Making me run around aimlessly
Deluding me, fooling me

Life, have you had enough?
When will you stop?
Quit playing this silly game
Quit driving me crazily in circles

Life, life
Come on, stop making me dizzy
Leave me to live my life
And please please make up your mind

jz nonsense

Valentines???? *bleeehhhh*....jz a time 4 all de florists n fancy restaurants to make a ton of money in one nite. purely commercialized. nothing special. jz crappy nonsense.

hmmmm...weelll....i admit i didnt think dat last yr. probably turning "sour grape" adi... n de fact dat ill b stuck in orchestra rehearsal on valentines nite while every1 else is hving a great time doesnt really do much for my self pitying. *sigh*... or probably its de memories dat come back around dis time of year. wateva de cause is... i think im really starting to hate valentines. or mayb HATE is too strong a word...i dunno i dunno. almost wish dat day didnt exist...n dat february 14th is jz plain february 14th...nothing special. and and.....annnddddd.....i think i better get goin b4 i turn into a Valentines Day scrooge...

oh yeaa...no offence btw...to those who simply LOVE that day. hehe...i once did too =)

nothing else better to dooo....

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Your Attitude is Better than 70% of the Population

You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

How's Your Attitude?

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security

What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are A Romantic

You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to. Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you. Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted. Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are 60% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman. Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

Are You A Lady?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Your Heart Is Blue

Love is a doing word for you. You know it's love when you treat each other well. You are a giving lover, but you don't give too much. You expect something in return. Your flirting style: Friendly Your lucky first date: Lunch at an outdoor cafe Your dream lover: Is both generous and selfish What you bring to relationships: Loyalty

What Color Heart Do You Have?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are 76% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

How Peaceful Are You?

You Are 52% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

Your Emoticon Is Smiling

Right now, you're feeling cheerful and content - without a care in the world.

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

You Are a Yellow Flower

A yellow flower tends to represent joy, friendship, and playfulness. At times, you are childlike, as a buttercup is. And at other times, you are fickle, like a dahlia. And more than you wish, you tend to feel bittersweet, like a marigold.

What Color Flower Are You?

Hhmmmmm....i think ill b doing more of these stuff. its kinda fun!!! hehe...

Silence

I cry for help
Not an answer
No voice, no reply
Nothing...just silence
What blinds me??
What binds me??

All I hear is an echo
Of the confusion I bear
My own voice is thrown back
That is all I hear
Only silence
Nothing but silence

The cold threatens
The slience oppresive
All around
Yet within me
Who will answer my call??
Is anyone out there??

Only hope
I have to hold on to
Only faith
I have to see me through
All I have
I need to cling on to

While silence reigns
Till someone comes
I shall wait patiently
For my answers one by one
Till I get a reply
Hope, please sustain me

...But yet silence kills
The silence slowly kills...

P/s yup i noee...its rather dark. bt dont wry bout me...hehe...im still my normal happy-go-lucky self =)

You promised...

You promised the world
You promised your heart
You promised forever
And I believed with all my heart

My heart told me I was wrong
My heart told me you weren't Mr. Right
My heart told me but I refused to hear
My heart turned out to be right

Cuz things didn't turn out right
Simply everything went wrong
How stupid I was to believe you
You said nothing could possibly go wrong

How could you
I don't understand
I thought you loved me
You promised to hold my hand

You promised the world
You promised your heart
You promised forever
Then left me with a broken heart

You promised...

You promised that you were gonna stay
For more than forever and a day

You promised...

Leave me alone

No, no I can't,
This feeling has to go;
My hearts mine and mine alone,
No way I'm letting it go.

Once beaten twice shy,
Or thrice and maybe more;
There ain't no way, ain't no how,
Bye, bye feelings, go out that door.

Oh boy, its still not leaving,
How do I make it go??
No way I'm going through this again,
Love, love, please leave me alone...




P/s I am NOT in lurveee!!! n dats a msg to all the pat pohs n pat kongs...especially ONE SPECIFIC PAT KONG OUT THERE (you noe who you are la...hehe). i got dis inspiration from sumwhere else...

Short n sweet ^^

Friendships forged in the fires of trails,
Can stand the test of both time and miles...

Time is short...

Time ticks away
every single moment calculated
The end is almost here
whether i want it to or not
The hands of the clock mark the time lost
The time no one realized...

Why, oh why didnt I see the end sooner??
Why, oh why, didnt I treasure the times together??

Time is short
I feel it in my bones
If only i could stop the aging
If only i could keep you here
If only you didnt have to go
If only, if only...I don't want you to go.

Is it too late??
Is the end too near??
I want to hold on to you
I cant imagine life without you
Anytime the phone could ring
Telling me its over, I've lost you forever...

I really, really wish I saw the end sooner
I really, really wish I treasured the times together

Time is short
I can feel it in my bones
I wanna seal every moment in memory
Every gesture, every smile
I wanna remember forever
Every feature, every walked mile

...Hope, I can only hope its not too late
Right now I can treasure every moment left
God, give me more time so I can tell
Just how much I love them
Though I simply dont know how...

P/s this post is dedicated to those who hv lost grandparents or a loved one...